The kids and I have been on summer break for so long that I have officially lost my mind. Things that would usually not even be on my radar are suddenly very important because there’s too many kids in the house for too many days.
It has come to my attention that Yoplait have teamed up with Disney Pixar and are now advertising ‘Finding Dory’ on the go-gurt packaging.
It’s cute, it’s colorful, it catches the eye of small children who then must beg and plead because they NEED to have the go-gurt with the picture of Dory.
I’m cool with that. If you’re gonna eat weird sugary yogurt from a plastic bag, why not get the one advertising the big summer movie?
We buy the go-gurt. My kid is happy.
We take the go-gurt home. My kid is happy.
I tell her she can eat a go-gurt while I’m making her lunch. My kid is happy.
There’s a joke on the go-gurt wrapper. My kid is happy.
My kid reads the joke aloud. My kid is happy.
I think up two stupid answers to the joke which are bound to be completely wrong. My kid is happy.
My kid excitedly looks for the real answer to the joke. It’s not where she thought it would be. My kid spends more time looking for the punchline to the joke than it took to go to the store, put the go-gurt in the cart, pay for the go-gurt, drive home, load the go-gurt into the fridge, decide to get one back out to eat immediately, cut open the wrapper and eat the go-gurt.
There is no answer to the joke.
I look at the box. I look at a handful of the other go-gurts. I cut open the wrapper and completely wash it clean, searching for the punchline. There is no answer to the joke.
My kid is not happy.
I’m going to have to assume that the answer to the question “why did the diver bring a telescope underwater?” is “to find the answer to this bloody joke.”